A few weeks ago, Heidi and I shared with you exciting news that we were expecting our second child. We praised God for this gift and you joined with us in thankfulness to our Heavenly Father. When we shared this joyful news with you, Heidi was only about 8 weeks along, which is still earlier than most people share due to the many difficulties of the first trimester. But we wanted you, our family, to share in our joy as well as to join in prayer for us.
As many of you know, we have different news to share now, news that has given new meaning to these words “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15). Earlier this week there were signs that our baby might not be well and on Wednesday after several doctors visits we learned that our baby no longer had a heartbeat and that a miscarriage had begun. We have been grieving with many tears and many questions. Until now we could never have guessed the pain and sorrow a couple experience during a miscarriage, during the death of one their children. No doubt the further along, the deeper the grief. Yet for us, and for many of you who have endured the same, the grief is real. And we take comfort in knowing that whatever could not mend our baby here on earth, God will make perfect in his presence and in the New Heavens and New Earth.
But we have not been alone! We’ve experienced the second half of Romans 12:15, and have wept with some of you, in person, over the phone, through email. Heidi and I have experienced the love of God through a simple hug, an “I’m sorry for your loss”, and “We’re praying for you.” This is why I’m so glad that we shared our pregnancy with the church when we did. It is not enough to share only our joy. We must share our sorrow. We must learn to weep with those who weep. Already you have ministered greatly to me and Heidi and Zechariah.
Having just preached about “Real Praise for Real Life” in the Psalms, I began to think “God, are you testing me? Are you trying to see if I really meant what I preached? Is this some kind of test?” And as I began to re-preach those psalms in my head, God reassured me that this trial was not a test for my preaching, but my preaching was his loving, sovereign preparation for this trial.
All day Wednesday, Heidi and I clung to the hope of Psalm 145—that God is unsearchably great and in control not only of the entire universe but every aspect of our lives. Our sorrow did not slip under his ‘radar.’ God’s greatness has been our comfort, but so has been his goodness. Psalm 145:14 was our lifeline—”The LORD upholds all who are falling and raises up all who are bowed down.” I can tell you, the Lord has upheld us, and he is raising us up!
I ended Sunday by saying that “God’s unsearchable greatness should lead to lives of unceasing praise, not just on Sunday, but everyday, not just when things are going well, but when things get turned upside down, not just in the delivery room, but in the Emergency Room.” Those were big words from a small man. But even after—no…especially after—the past couple of days I wouldn’t change a word. Heidi even said after hours of doctor’s visits that it was the kind hand of God to let us focus on the greatness of God this past Sunday because it was the only thing that kept her going. Thank God for the way his Word has ministered to me and to my wife!
I realize that this is a very personal, and difficult topic for many people to read, let alone talk about (let alone write about!). Thank you for loving us. Thank you for weeping with us. Thank you for praying for us. Please continue to pray that we would believe that God really is great, glorious, gracious and good in the days and weeks ahead. Pray that even with so many questions left unresolved that our hope would be in the cross where our heavenly Father’s compassions never fail!
He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all,
how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?
Romans 8:32
Oh, sweet Josh and Heidi! My heart breaks with you…and I pray for you a quick and deep comfort from the Holy Spirit. I can only imagine the sorrow and wish I was there to give you both a big hug and shoulder to cry on if you needed an extra. But I know that the wonderful family of WBC will be a comfort to you during this time. Continue to lean on our Father, as I know you are. We love you both so much!
In His loving graces,
Tish (& Dave)
Josh and Heidi,
Having been “on the other side” as a nurse, I have wept with mothers and also fathers when they have lost an unborn child. Many times, no one else knew about the pregnancy and therefore they found it awkward to share their news with others. At that moment, most said they felt terribly alone, hugging a stranger. God has sent shepherds so you will never be alone. Thank you for sharing your good news with us, and later your sorrow. We will be with you, love you and pray for you. (And send you one giant hug.)
Blessings,
Athena and Shawn
[...] There are many in our midst who have experienced the sting of this loss. Too many have suffered without the care and support of others; we felt alone, bearing the weight, wishing that someone would come and help us. This is a unique time for us, as a church, because this miscarriage has been very public, and Josh and Heidi have been willing to draw back the curtain on their pain and hope. [...]
“Son, I came down from Heaven to save you. I took upon me your miseries, not of necessity, but moved by charity; that you might learn patience, and might bear temporal miseries without regret. For from the hour of my birth until my death on the cross, I was never without suffering.”-Thomas A Kèmpis (as Jesus speaking to a disciple)
“Through Christ and in Christ, the riddles of sorrow and death grow meaningful. Apart from the gospel, they overwhelm us. Christ has risen, destroying death by His death. He has lavished life upon us so that as sons in the Son, we can cry out in the Spirit: Abba, Father. -PC22 reflections from Vatican II
“Dearest Saviour, give me strength to suffer, and make us worthy of those eternal rewards which you have promised us in the kingdom of Heaven. Amen.”
I love you both, I continue to pray for you, and I will remind you of the gospel and show you Jesus’ grace as best I can in times of tragedy just as surely as you live the gospel in my life regularly. -Geoffrey
Loss is a huge word, with immense emotions. You fight this battle bravely, my friends. Do not give up hope. We love you…immensely. Even better…the Creator loves you…more immensely.
Vicki and Peter
Billy Graham includes this verse in a section on bereavement in one of his books. He reminds us that Jesus does many things we don’t understand and when he was in an personal moment with his friends, he told them “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” John 13:7
1 in 3 woman experience miscarriages. My mother had 2 but bore 5 healthy children. I had 3 but as you know bore 3 healthy boys. Working in a profession that handles illness and death on a daily basis, I rejoice in the knowledge that God is the master planner in this great confusing journey that we call life. Life on earth that is, for one day I believe that I will be reunited with my babies, as will you and God will graciously reveal His plan. Your news brings back to me the emotion that I too felt with each loss. But the gift of time and of people who surround you with love will provide you strength to move forward. God is good. Peace, Jerilyn
Heidi, Zechariah, and I have felt so loved and cared for by everyone the past few weeks. Thank you weeping alongside of us, for helping carry our burden, and for pointing us to our Heavenly Father. You’ve truly been instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands to us. We love you!