Preparing for Valentine’s Day – part 2

Valentine’s Day is now only two and a half weeks away. In my post two weeks ago I challenged you to put on paper in a sentence or two the goal of your marriage. How did you do? What did you say? And what influenced you to answer the way that you did?

Here’s my goal: “Tracy finds in Jesus all the intimacy, compassion, and significance that she could ever hope for – and I point her to Him through my life and words.”

I want Tracy to feel and believe that she is deeply loved; that her life matters. But I also know that significance like that must be tied to someone eternal, all-powerful, perfectly relational, and incredibly beautiful. As God said in Jeremiah 9:23-24, “Thus says the Lord, ‘Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord.”

Essentially, I am called to be both the groom and the best man in my marriage (Jonathan Edwards came up with that one).

  • As the groom, it is my privilege to show my wife the way that Jesus loves her: the way I speak, the way I love, the way I treat her is supposed to help her experience Jesus’ love.
  • As the best man, I am always to remember that Tracy was not made to love me. She was made to find true love in Jesus. It is scandalous for the best man to try to win the affections of the bride. This is why in heaven marriage, as we know it, will not exist. Jesus will no longer need an imperfect “stand in”.

With humility and a deepening dependence on Jesus, I am called to shepherd her love for Jesus and express to her the love of Jesus. That’s the goal. So I had better pray up, read up, and pay attention every day to my spouse, expressing love to her in a hundred little ways every day. I had better shepherd my soul into the infinite riches of Jesus, and find my treasure there. And I had better surround myself with others who will help me do this, especially when I don’t feel like it.

Next week I will present some key resources that will help you sharpen your theology and practice of marriage.


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