What If I Don’t Feel Love for My Spouse?

A friend recommended a post today, and after reading it I wanted to pass it on. Steve Cornell writes,

A wife once told me that she planned to leave her husband because (in her words) she “just didn’t love him anymore.” I asked her to change the way she worded what she planned to do. I suggested that it would be more accurate to say, “I am choosing to no longer value my husband and to break my commitment to remain faithful to him.

She insisted on using terms that made her a victim of feelings she could not change. Ironically, she also thought her decision was virtuous in its honesty and lack of hypocrisy. Over the years, I have had people tell me they want to be married because they love each other and I’ve had people (like this woman) tell me that they want out of their marriages because they no longer feel love for their mate.

This has led me to ask some serious questions about the nature of love. What is love? Is it something we can fall into and fall out of? Is it chemistry? Infatuation? Is it an emotional response or a choice? In my evaluation, I’ve concluded that we need to distinguish two dimensions of love.

You’re going to want to read more, so click here to read the rest of the post.

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One response to this post.

  1. Posted by ben k. on February 12, 2012 at 3:26 pm

    This is fantastic Mark. I wish that more people could read it. Love, and as an extension marraige, shouldn’t be something entered into lightly or given up on. I have learned the painful lesson in the past year that alas many people don’t feel that way about it.

    Reply

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