Archive for the ‘Marriage’ Category

Keeping the Gospel Central When Talking about Same Sex Marriage

As Jesus’ followers, it is imperative that we keep the gospel central in all we say and do. Sadly the gospel could so easily get lost in the discussion surrounding same sex marriage. The most important question is: do you believe that Jesus is who said and showed he was? Do you believe that Jesus is Lord? Jesus’ lordship rules over all of our orientations and lifestyles and marriages and gender and sexuality. Therefore, what one believes about Jesus is far more important than one thinks about homosexuality. We must remember and communicate that Jesus saves and transforms all sorts of sinners. We must remember that Jesus zealously opposes our sins of lust and greed and porn and anger and self-righteousness and pride and impatience and (you get the point).

So, I encourage you to equip yourself with some thoughtful, biblical instruction.

Tim Keller on How to Treat Homosexuals

“How I Wish the Homosexuality Debate Would Go” by Trevin Wax

Host: So how do you reconcile the command to love all people with a position on homosexuality that some would say is radically intolerant?

Pastor: (smiling) If you think my position on homosexuality is radical, just wait until you hear what else I believe! I believe that a teenage guy and girl who have sex in the backseat of a pick-up are sinning. The unmarried heterosexual couple living down the street from me is sinning. In fact, any sexual activity that takes place outside of the marriage covenant between a husband and wife is sinful. What’s more, Jesus takes this sexual ethic a step further and goes to the heart of the matter. That means that any time I even lust after someone else, I am sinning. Jesus’ radical view of sexuality shows all of us up as sexual sinners, and that’s why He came to die. Jesus died to save lustful, homo- and heterosexual sinners and transform our hearts and minds and behavior. Because He died for me, I owe Him my all. And as a follower of Jesus, I’m bound to what He says about sex and morality.

“How to Win the Public on Homosexuality” by Collin Hansen

Look no further for our culture’s confessional statement in three points:

  1. God made me this way.
  2. He wouldn’t deny my natural desires.
  3. And I don’t have to explain myself to you or anyone else.

You won’t understand the challenge facing Christians regarding homosexuality until you see how these three points permeate our culture. On the surface, we appear to be locked in a battle of rights we can’t win. Christians declare our right to speak out and legislate according to religious conviction in defense of traditional institutions. Gays pursue their right to life, liberty, happiness with regard to their sexuality. But homosexuality fronts a much bigger challenge that threatens us all.

“Same-Sex Marriage Makes a Lot of Sense” by Michael Horton

Same-sex marriage makes sense if you assume that the individual is the center of the universe, that God—if he exists—is there to make us happy, and that our choices are not grounded in a nature created by God but in arbitrary self-construction. To the extent that this sort of “moralistic-therapeutic-deism” prevails in our churches, can we expect the world to think any differently? If we treat God as a product we sell to consumers for their self-improvement programs and make personal choice the trigger of salvation itself, then it may come as a big surprise (even contradiction) to the world when we tell them that truth (the way things are) trumps feelings and personal choice (what we want to make things to be).


What is the Purpose of Marriage?

If someone asked you, “What is the purpose of marriage?”, how would you respond? Is the purpose of marriage primarily so that I would feel loved and fulfilled? Is the purpose of marriage that I would make my spouse feel loved and fulfilled?

This video will provide a very biblical answer, and perhaps stretch your comfort zones. Trust me, it is worth the eight minutes.

You can download a free copy (.pdf) of the book, This Momentary Marriage, here.

You can also read more from Ian and Larissa here:

Weekend To Remember

Below is a powerful testimony that God does the impossible–God transforms marriages! Why? Because God transforms sinners like you and me! I hope you’ll watch it and be encouraged. I hope you’ll attend the Weekend to Remember.

The Family Life “Weekend to Remember” marriage conference in South Portland is 4/27-4/29. Group rate cost of the conference is $159/couple, but there are scholarships and volunteer opportunities to make it possible for anyone to go. Register online at When you see “Group Name”,  type in WINDHAMBAPTISTCHURCH. For more info contact Tim or Cindy I.


Preparing for Valentine’s Day – part 3

As Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, I wanted to recommend some resources that you might find helpful for your marriage. So here’s a list of suggestions with some brief notes.

Some Print Resources:

  • When Sinners Say ‘I Do’ by Dave Harvey – this book is must read for our marriage prep, even if you don’t read much you will enjoy this one.
  • The Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller – another wise and helpful book by Keller.
  • Real Marriage by Mark and Grace Driscoll – a helpful, though somewhat controversial book. For some, their candor will be refreshing, for others it will be over the top.
  • What Did You Expect by Paul Tripp – a hopeful, yet real discussion of what a marriage needs and what we need to bring.

Audio Resources:

  • John Piper did an excellent series on marriage a few years back – you can download them here and listen together. What is marriage for? How do I forgive? The Husbands role as head? What does it mean to submit?

Seminar Formats:

  • Weekend to Remember by Family Life – many of our couples have enjoyed these weekends, and their marriages have benefitted greatly. Tim and Cindy Irish are excellent resources inside our own faith family – talk to them to find out more.

What If I Don’t Feel Love for My Spouse?

A friend recommended a post today, and after reading it I wanted to pass it on. Steve Cornell writes,

A wife once told me that she planned to leave her husband because (in her words) she “just didn’t love him anymore.” I asked her to change the way she worded what she planned to do. I suggested that it would be more accurate to say, “I am choosing to no longer value my husband and to break my commitment to remain faithful to him.

She insisted on using terms that made her a victim of feelings she could not change. Ironically, she also thought her decision was virtuous in its honesty and lack of hypocrisy. Over the years, I have had people tell me they want to be married because they love each other and I’ve had people (like this woman) tell me that they want out of their marriages because they no longer feel love for their mate.

This has led me to ask some serious questions about the nature of love. What is love? Is it something we can fall into and fall out of? Is it chemistry? Infatuation? Is it an emotional response or a choice? In my evaluation, I’ve concluded that we need to distinguish two dimensions of love.

You’re going to want to read more, so click here to read the rest of the post.

7 Ways to Enjoy Friendship with Your Husband

Here is a great post for the wives out there, written by a pastor’s wife. And even if you have young kids, you have time to read it…

Click on the picture and the post will open in a new tab or window. Enjoy.

Marriage Conference Just Down the Road

Sept 9th and 10, Lakeside Community Church in Waterboro will be hosting speakers Stu and Ruth Ann Batstone from World Harvest Mission. They will be covering topics in marriage, taking the opportunity to help couples view their marriage through the lens of the gospel. The format for this workshop is unique, in that the Batstones will each present their topics then discussion will be held between husband and wife.No uncomfortable group therapy discussions—just good one-on-one time with your spouse. The hosts are also recommending that people clear their schedules to allow for a lunch date on Saturday, immediately following the workshop, to continue their conversations.